my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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