but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
