so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Let's paint friendship bongs
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
