piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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