Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
