he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You are the jesus of drinking
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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