You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
