I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
