If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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