Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
