So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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