So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
