are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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