how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Two words: nipple clamps
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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