Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
