Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
