so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
