She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
foreskin is a definite game changer
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
