There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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