Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
