When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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