just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
