my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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