i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
