Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
