sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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