What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
