i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
