dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
