If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Shame - the story of my life.
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