I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
