Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
