called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
