she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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