I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
