Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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