I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I need to calm my uterus...
Enjoy the penises
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
