Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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