my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize