i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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