is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
