I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
