Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
