People in love make me want to vomit
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize