just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
