just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize