It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
