i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the day after is always just damage control
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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