I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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