there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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