so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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