he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
