don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
