Farmville is her only friend.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize