go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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