i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
