If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
then he tried to convert me to islam
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
