its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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