Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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