What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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