I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize