I don't think brook has ever known best
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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