I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
